What is the rudest/meanest thing a family member has said to you?
09.06.2025 03:44
More recently, asking my child who the smartest in the family is, and then shaming him for saying me. When he moved on to my deceased brother, my father's response was, “he doesn't count, he's dead in the urn now,” gesturing toward it on the mantle, laughing. Time froze, as my mother sat there knitting, pretending not to hear. I was in shock. They both now deny this, even going as far as gaslighting my son about what he knows he heard
Later, he said that I think I'm “so smart, but if it wasn't for them, I would've been left for dead, in Brazil” because I turned the wheel the wrong way, according to him, when backing out of a parking space, at Home Depot
At 9, my mother telling me to “shutup, we don't talk about those things” when I asked her at church, if it was possible to get pregnant by being fingered? Similarly, calling me a “slut” when my Grandma told her she caught my elementary school friend and I, pretending our Barbies were having sex
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One of the worst is in what wasn't said by my mother: refusing to ask a family member why they said my mom “probably wouldn't shoot me, she’s not that type, but would make it look like I committed suicide,” and refusing to ask her why she said my mother was “fake crying when she told her about my brother's passing.” My mother is going to stay with this family member soon, more offended by me being totally terrorized and asking questions to understand, because I can't immediately escape, than the statements made. 🙃
I guess I could go “on and on,” but these are the meanest, the rudest, the worst, and the most unforgiveable that I can remember off the top of my head. The laughter about my death has invoked yet another attempt at No Contact, until I can leave. My mother told me a few years back, “you will never break the chain.” Shout-out to Fleetwood Mac, but respectfully, I will.
My mother detailing the sexual trauma my brother endured at the hands of two neighbor children, out of nowhere in 2021, when simply asking if they were part of the charitable Mason group. Admitting to weaponizing this story (extremely painful to learn he was held down and couldn't even fight back), because she was sick of talking to me and I “made her” with my going ON and ON and ON
The laughter at things that are actually extremely scary, the silence over what deserves explanation, the abandonment for being unwilling to just “let go” of all of the above. Telling me I need “help,” making others believe falsely that I am unstable, and my father screaming at me in front of my 9 year old at the time, that I'm “fucking delusional” …. For what, I'm still unsure.
My dad screaming loudly that I am “crazy” in front of dozens of people at my son’s football practices, along with talking shit about me to other members of the community. My mom on the phone saying my brothers memorial was coming up, and annoyingly telling her friend that I was going to be “so distraught…”
Edit - the 20th, my mother telling me that of course she supports my book, as long as I can “live with the consequences of writing it.” Also, asking me if I felt like my life was “really that important” to write about.
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My mother telling me she paid more for me to get me out of the country
I was adopted, and sometime in middle school, during a rage, my father called me a “mistake.” This is #1 most damaging. I believed him for a long, long time
Later, he said that it “wasn't their fault my biological parents didn't use a condom”
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During my childhood, both parents perpetuated the lie that Brazil is “filthy & poor, and that I would never want to go back there” Also that my biological mother was a whore
An uncle that was so racist, that he referred to me as “that girl,” rather than my name. It took my grandpa to stand up to this, not them
Most recently - the millionth home I've lived in, had a door lock that was broken (along with several windows and doors at other properties, repeated car vandalism at work, cut up pillow on my porch, cut curtains, intimidation/threats/cruelty from total strangers, etc). I expressed how this made me fear for my safety. My dad rolled his eyes upon me telling him, I had to pressure him to fix it that night, and my mother has made 4 “jokes” about me dying or being dead, since
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My dad writing on a desk calendar, “Lauren Meltdown: 40 mins” on multiple days, then my mother stating it was because I am more of a bitch on my period, so it was her idea to track it. My “meltdown” was over my son’s slipping grades, due to their constant abuse. He was on his way to STEM and Engineering before they moved closer
My dad threatening to “call the police on me” for picking my son up at his last sleep over at their house, for him wanting to GO HOME (where he has always lived), after telling him to lie to me, and text me that he never said that
My mother telling my son I “never did chores unless I was paid,” when I used to clean as a child, simply as a way to surprise my mother, when attempting to discuss chores with my son. Similarly, when attempting to hold my son accountable for his grades, “Why? You didn't get good grades,” as if I can't want him to be better than me
Is there anything wrong with me because I'm still single?
Wow, how can a person pick just one? I have twenty that I consider mean, that they don't, so here goes:
That mine and my brothers’ life insurance, that makes me extremely uncomfortable given the above, “doesn't make a big enough dent in her wallet” for it to be worth it, for my mother to be involved in harming us or have wanted us dead (it's just funny though, somehow)
An aunt that became livid that I took an ancestry test, and demanded that I “never tell anyone that I have South Cameroon in me” … brainwashing mean enough, to tell you to deny your own essence
What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
My mother - jokingly, sarcastically, and mockingly saying things like, “my brothers fate would be mine” or “yeah, I sold you to the neighbors” rather than being appalled I would ask, when pressing her about our shared sexual exposure and why she never actually protected us or held anyone accountable (nor feels remorse about it), as children